Heart Of Gold
by Tantopat
Summary: Rent fic Still mourning Angel's death, Collins gets a late night visit from the one person he never expected to see again...


Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or anything to do with it, nor am I making any profit from any of this. So there.

A/N: Okay, first of all, I've never actually seen Rent, but I have read other fanfics and listened to the entire soundtrack (and subsequently found that it's impossible to listen to it without crying at least once the first time :P), so please forgive me if I make any mistakes in this. Also, I dunno if Collins has dreadlocks or not, but in other fics he does, so here he does as well. :P Okay, excuses over, enjoy the fic:)

Those large brown eyes met his, brightening up as the face smiled sweetly. The younger man's beauty filled all his senses, and he smiled back, reaching out to touch his lover's face gently, but suddenly there was nothing, only air where the other man had once been.

Collins' eyes snapped open, tears streaming down his cheeks. Slowly he sat up, shaking his head and brushing a stray dreadlock from his face. Tears continued to roll down his cheeks, as he remembered the vividness of that dream. Angel had been right there, right in front of him, so near he could almost feel the warmth of his body next to Collins'. He could still feel the sensation now, but told himself firmly that it wasn't real, knowing that he had to come to terms with the fact that Angel was gone now, and forever out of his life.

"Get a grip," Collins murmured to himself, climbing slowly out of bed and making his way to the bathroom slowly. Sighing, he turned on the cold tap and quickly splashed his face with water, then stopped, looking around. After a while he shook his head and carried on, then stopped again. He was sure he'd heard footsteps, but quickly brushed it off as just his tiredness. Yawning, he walked back into the bedroom, but as his gaze fell about the room, he froze, and felt the blood rush from his face, as large brown eyes met his from across the room.

"Collins...I..." Angel hesitated, a mixture of fear and sorrow written all over his face, which looked ready to burst into tears. Collins blinked, but the apparition remained there, standing unsurely by his bed.

"You're just another dream," Collins said bluntly, not moving from his spot. "Please, just go away. I feel bad enough knowing he's not here." Angel frowned slightly in confusion, and Collins felt his heart break, as he stared at the figure and thought of his own Angel.

"What are you talking about?" Angel asked slowly, then his eyes widened slightly in realisation. "You think I'm..." He trailed off again, and this time moved away from the bed suddenly. Before Collins could protest, Angel wrapped his arms around Collins' neck, planting a searing kiss against the older man's lips. Collins shuddered, feeling Angel's lips against his own, and quickly returned the kiss, before pulling back, studying Angel's features. It really was him. Collins reached up, touching Angel's cheek lightly, then frowned, noticing for the first time the fear in Angel's eyes.

"What's wrong?" Collins asked, and Angel sighed.

"Why have you blocked out the others?" He asked, leading Collins to the bed and seating himself on the edge of it. "You know they care about you, and you're scaring them all by constantly staying in this depressed state." Collins sat down next to Angel, who took the older man's hands in his own, studying them before looking into Collins's deep brown eyes, waiting patiently for him to answer.

"I missed you so much," Collins began, still slightly in disbelief as he felt the very real hands holding his own. "I guess I just didn't see any point in life without you." Collins shook his head and looked down at Angel's hands, before smiling. "Well, none of that matters now," he said. "We're together again, and that's all that matters." Angel smiled sadly back and reached up, feeling behind his neck. Eventually he drew his hands back down, this time grasping a delicate gold chain, with a stylized heart pendant hanging from it, and placed it in Collins' hands.

"The necklace I gave you..." Collins looked down at the piece of jewellery in his hands, remembering the Valentine's day when he had given it to Angel, hiding it in his pickle-tub drum along with a love letter. He remembered how Angel had reacted when he arrived back home after drumming, bounding through the door and throwing himself into Collins' arms, kissing him and telling him over and over how much he loved him. Collins was jolted back to reality as he felt the weight on the bed shift, and looked up to see Angel standing above him, tears now running down his cheeks as he smiled sadly down at Collins.

"Please, don't mourn me anymore, please just live your life now and be happy," he whispered, and Collins stood up quickly, confused.

"What do you mean?" He asked uncertainly. "You're back now, so why would I mourn?" Angel shook his head and moved towards Collins kissing him gently before stepping back.

"Go and talk to the others, they're all there for you," he said, still crying. "I love you..."

"Wait -" Collins sat bolt upright in bed and peered around the dark room, before lying back, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Just a dream..." he sighed, biting his lip to hold back further tears as he remembered Angel's words. Slowly he rolled onto his side, when he noticed a cold sensation in his palm. Frowning, he brought his hand to eye level, opening the closed fist slowly. His eyes widened suddenly, and he broke into tears again as he stared at the solid gold heart necklace in his hand, glinting in the moonlight. 


End file.
